Since I was diagnosed with cancer in February, life has changed dramatically. I now live my life in 3 week cycles. Day one is chemotherapy. I usually start the day off pretty well because of the steroids I have to take the night before and the morning of. Then I go to hospital and I get hooked up to the drip and I sit in a chair for about 4 or 5 hours. By the time the chemo is over, I am starting to feel tired, and a little sick. Day two, I wake up feeling sick and I usually have really sore legs and sometimes arms. My cheeks are usually bright red. I sometimes start to vomit on day 2. Day 3 and I am definitely vomiting by now. This is usually my worst day. My aches are at their worst and I feel really bad. I wouldn't wish this on anyone. I really don't know how people coped with chemo before these new drugs that make things "better".
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| The bathroom |
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| Our room in the hotel in Hobart |
As planned, I had my surgery after my third round of chemo. Terry and I went to Hobart and we stayed the night in a nice old Hotel before I had to go to hospital at 9.15 on Monday morning. It was a lovely night and I am grateful we took the opportunity to head down early and have a relaxing night, instead of rushing the 3 hour drive on Monday morning. The surgery happened on the Tuesday morning, and I was nervous but excited. I couldn't wait to get the cancer out of me, but I will admit, I was really scared. What if I didn't survive the surgery, what if I did survive only to be told they couldn't do anything for me and I only had a few months to live. I wasn't ready for that, I wasn't ready to die, I want to live, as you know, we were meant to be travelling and I really want to achieve that before I die. I kissed Terry good bye, and held his hand as long as I could as I was wheeled away into the unknown. It didn't seem long later, but in reality it was hours, when I was wheeled back into my room. I have no idea what my first words were but I am sure I was pretty happy to see Terry standing there looking down at me. I do remember him saying hello and welcome back. The next few days were hell on earth. I was in a lot of pain, and nothing seemed to help.
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| Back from theatre |
I couldn't eat, couldn't go to the toilet, couldn't even roll over. I don't remember much about those days except that the doctors did tell me the operation had been a success and they had got all the visible cancer. They had saved my bowel too, which was wonderful. I had no idea how that was going to go. You see the cancer had wrapped itself around the bowel and the doctors weren't sure if they were going to be able to unwrap it, or if they would have to take the bowel. I told them I was prepared to loose it, if it meant saving my life. Ten days after surgery, they sent me home. I really wanted to come home, but wasn't really ready yet. I was still in a lot of pain, and had trouble getting in and out of bed on my own. I even had trouble getting on and off the toilet, luckily, we have rails at the toilet and shower at home, so I thought I would be ok. We didn't leave hospital till late and Terry had driven down early that morning, so we decided to stay the night in Richmond and make an early start the next day. We found a nice little old place and bedded down for the night. It was a rough night for me, I was cold, and the bed was low so it was hard for me to get in and out of it. The bath room was also very small, and the toilet was tucked into a little nook and I had nowhere to grip when I needed to get on and off. I managed though, and eventually snuggled into bed and slept.
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| The courtyard where we stayed in Richmond |
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| For some reason, we didn't take any indoor photos. Too sick I guess |
Getting home was bitter sweet. Gino's Dream had been taken away to be finished the Friday before I went to hospital. I would have liked it to have been back when I returned home and settled into it, but no such luck. In fact, here we are 4 weeks later and it still isn't here. As much as I love being in my big old bed in my house, it's just not the same anymore. We belong in Gino's Dream, and Gino's Dream belongs on the road. At this stage, I have no idea when he will be finished and returned, but we can't wait. Terry is keen to drive him and start taking some short trips around Tasmania, I am just keen to get going. I have been told that life expectancy after ovarian cancer is about 5 years, so that doesn't give me much time. Mind you, a good friends sister has just passed the 12 year mark after surgery for ovarian cancer, and I plan to beat her. Australia is just too big to see in 5 years, but nonetheless, I am keen to get going.
My days are getting better, and I am feeling stronger, however, I still am cold all the time and am still weak. The doctor has told me to get some multi-vitamin and to try to rest as much as possible and stay warm and eat healthy. I do try, but sometimes it's just so hard. I only have 2 rounds of chemotherapy left, and am looking forward to the end. All going well, my last round of chemo will be on the 9th July, so by the end of July, things should be looking up for me. I think it will be a big party then. I really can't wait.
So until then, I am still needing all your love, strength and support to help get me through this.
